


Things don't change overnight.

by TooAceForThisShit



Series: Never Enough [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Hugs, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Complete, Confessions, Fluffy, Gay, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Kozume Kenma, How Do I Tag, I need a hug, M/M, Nightmares, Some Swearing, Sweet, We all need hugs, cheesy name, he needs a hug, i'll tag more when I remember what life is., im sorry if this is rushed., kags has some problems, kinda angst, sleeping problems, talk of nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooAceForThisShit/pseuds/TooAceForThisShit
Summary: To say I had a problem would be a huge understatement.I've never not been on medication to alter my personality, which leaves me a shell of a person some would say.I don't really mind, it's there and it does its job.Jesus Christ, I've written so much today, I'm so tired too! But I think this turned out really well for something I just started writing because I was bored.Anyway, you can read this alone, or you can read my other fanfiction that also has these backgrounds for Hinata and Kageyama, it's not the main focus, it's like a side ship. BUt I wanted to do this so cool cool cool. P.S the other fanfiction is called: Never Enough.





	Things don't change overnight.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm ready to sleep for a long time. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy though!

To say I had a problem would be a huge understatement.  
I've never not been on medication to alter my personality, which leaves me a shell of a person some would say.  
I don't really mind, it's there and it does its job. 

I have a family type of thing I guess, they're not my birth parents or my real siblings but they try and treat me like one.  
They got me tested for things when I was five saying I didn't act like a 'normal' little boy, I don't know what a 'normal' little boy would act like but all they told me was I was wrong and I needed help mentally. 

I still get told now that I'm not normal and I'm fifteen, 'they say oh why don't you smile' or 'show some damn emotion you damn freak'  
The latter is a personal favourite of mine. 

I'm Kageyama Tobio and I'm emotionless.

Or so I'm told, I don't believe it though, I know it's there but I don't really care.  
Most of the time when I do show emotion it comes out as anger so I like not being angry. 

I don't like overacting to pointless things, that's what my mother says anyway. 

"Tobio?" My mother asks worriedly. 

I snap back to where I am, I'm sitting at the table with my family, my two older siblings and my parents my mother and father are both looking at me with concerned looks. 

"Yea?" I ask still confused. 

"Are you okay, you were spacing out again," 

I shake my head trying to focus, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." 

"You sure son?" dad asks looking over at me from his tablet.

I nod my head, "Yeah, Hinata and Kenma were talking to me late last night," I lie, looking down at my bowl of now soggy cereal I push it away from me. 

Hinata and Kenma and I were talking last night but not that late, I just couldn't sleep but I don't want to make my parents worry more and put me back on sleep meds. 

"Okay, try not to do it again tonight." mom scolds not believing me. 

"I won't," I said standing a grabbing an orange and putting my bowl in the sink before turning and leaving for school.  
Grabbing my bag on the way through the dining room again, my mom kisses my cheek before sitting down again, dad gives me a thumbs up on my way out. 

I walk a little way down the street getting lost in my music, not caring when someone bumps into me.  
I just keep going until I'm standing in front of the bus stop. 

Standing there a second before the bus pulls up, I get in going straight to the back where Kenma is, Hinata still takes his bike everywhere because he's an idiot. 

Kenma looks up from their phone at me as I take a seat next to them. 

"You look well rested," they said as settle myself putting my bag at my feet. 

"I could say the same to you," I stated looking at them, there are dark circles under their eyes, their hair is also sticking up in some places. 

"Shush, I was talking to someone until two," 

"Someone as in the guy from Tumblr," 

"Possibly," they said not looking back up from their phone. 

"Are you still talking to him?" I question. 

Kenma nods, "He's walking to school and being bored," 

Nodding my head again I take out my phone as well, I don't have any internet so I start playing a random app to burn some time. 

School isn't too bad for me, I still get made fun of a lot, but I kinda just do my own thing for the most part and I very much enjoy volleyball. 

I don't play on the team though, I didn't want to some of the kids on the team make fun of me, so I just play when I can with Hinata and Kenma. 

I like the work in school, for the most part, I'm not as smart as most. But I find a way to make it through and I'm good in history but or teacher sucks of history. 

I used to read history books as a child because I wanted to know more, and I guess because I don't have any history I needed to know more and at the time I thought if I searched hard enough through history I'd find my birth parents, big shocker it didn't. My memory is good, so that's how I get through most of school. 

We pull up to the school a few minutes later, I follow Kenma out of the bus, we walk into the main building together before they run off to the second year level, we wave to one another. 

I go to my locker and put away the stuff I don't need, then wonder to my first class of the day. 

When lunch time rolls around I'm pretty much dead on my feet.  
I grab my lunch, then I walk to where I normally eat lunch with Kenma and Hinata. 

I sit down next to Kenma. Kenma and Hinata are talking about something together about some movie that was on last night. 

Hinata stops talking and smiles over at me, his cheeks red from the cold. I nod acknowledgment. 

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask taking out my food. 

"We're talking about Natsu," Hinata said rolling his eyes. 

"What did she do now?" Hinata's little sister is like a smaller vision of him but with longer hair and a higher voice.  
When they're all together all you can see is orange. 

"Last night she came into my room at one am to ask me why fishes don't have ears,"

"What did you say is the real question." 

"That's the thing, I didn't know what to tell her so I just shooed her out of my room telling her that they didn't need them then slamming the door in her face," 

"Brother of the year," Kenma said sarcastically clapping slowly to add to it. 

"Shush it was one am! I was tired!" He said trying to defend himself but failing. 

"I think you should stop slamming the door in you sister's face," I said taking a bite out of my food. 

"It's only happened five times," He said quietly ashamed. 

"It's only happened six times, last night was six," Kenma said shrugging their shoulders. 

I roll my eyes. 

Hinata goes back to talking excitedly to Kenma, Kenma nodding along with every once in awhile. I tone them out. 

I have a crush on Hinata, it doesn't help how he normally acts around us either he's just so touchy sometimes that it's too much for me, Kenma most of the time doesn't seem to mind, but their parents aren't around a lot and he likes the hugs and sometimes the cuddles. 

Some day's they'll say no touching though, Hinata listens to that even if it's harder for him. 

I've never really had feelings for someone before, and I don't think I like it much.  
I'm not even out, I think Kenma thinks I'm gay. But I'm just terribly confused as to why it should matter so much to some people. 

I'm just me. 

I'm not good with this though the feelings the weird fuzzy feeling in my stomach when Hinata hugs me or gets too close, and thinking about him all the time is just odd. 

I don't think feelings or emotions are for me. 

Sometimes Hinata will tell me he likes me but I didn't know how to say it back so I just acted like it never happened and went back to what I was doing. 

That's probably why Kenma calls me oblivious, I'm just not good with people though. 

Someone snaps in front of my face, I blink a few times then turn glare. 

"I asked you something," Hinata said giggling. 

"Oh, what?" 

"Please don't give me the death glare when I'm trying to be a nice person," Kenma said standing up and putting their bag over their shoulders.

I look up at them, I raise an eyebrow. "Umm, sorry?" 

"Don't worry about it," They said walking off. 

Hinata jumps up gesturing me to follow him, I stand and grab my bag putting it over one shoulder. 

I follow him back to the building, "What is it you asked?" 

He looks up at me confused before breaking out in a smile, "I asked if you wanted to come over today because I have to look after Natsu, and I'll be very bored. Kenma already said they can't come," 

 

"Yeah, I'm not busy after school," I reply calmly ignoring what his smile did to my heart. 

He nods smiling again, I look away feeling my ears heat up. 

"I'll meet you by the bikes then!" He hollers before running off in front of me to his next class. 

I make my way to my class trying to get my composure back, get to math and go to the back of the classroom to my seat.  
Sit down and take out the things I need for this class, lining everything up so it's in order, opening my notebook I take one of my pencils and start writing random things until the teacher comes into the room. 

School goes by slowly, I don't mind if anything it makes me feel better than going over to Hinata's house without a plan, once's the bell goes off, I grab a few more things at my locker, then I exit the school going off to the side where the bikes are, I turn the corner and see Hinata on his phone by his bike, he's texting someone he doesn't look up from what he's doing even when I'm standing in front of him. 

He finishes typing then looks up at me smiling "You ready?" 

I nod, "Yeah, are you?" 

"Yep!" he said cheerfully pushing his bike away from the bike rack. 

I follow behind, him talking the whole time about how his mom works for most of this week. 

The sun's still high in the sky, it's a little cloudy today though so it's not too hot slightly warm.  
He continues talking as we make our way up a hill, we're nearly to his house now.

"Who's looking after Natsu now?" I ask when there's a lull in the conversion. 

"Oh, my mom is! She doesn't work until later this evening, 

"Oh okay," 

Hinata nods, turning back to look at the road when a winding driveway comes into few, Hinata yells race you and takes off on his bike, I stand there a moment before running after him. 

"Dumbass!" I yell after him trying to catch up. 

I stop running when I see that Hinata's already standing outside of his house whistling like nothing happened. 

 

I jug the rest of the way to him, trying to catch my breath once I'm standing next to him, I look up at him, he looks worried he breaks into a smile once he noticed me looking at him. 

I stand up fully once I catch my breath. 

He opens the door, "I'm home," He yells into the small house. 

"Oh Shoyo you're late," His mom said she's standing in the hallway before the door, "I'm almost late, your sister's in the kitchen finishing up eating. Hi, Kageyama." She said speaking fast grabbing her bag before kisses Hinata on the cheek and leaving the house. 

I say goodbye before she's gone, she smiles at me warmly in return. 

We take off our shoes and I follow Hinata into his house and to the kitchen where his little sister is eating. 

"Shouyou!" She yells in excitement upon seeing her brother. 

"Natsu!" Hinata yells back going over and hugging her where she stands up in her chair. 

"Kageyama!" She screeches startling me. 

"Hi, Natsu-chan," I reply calmly. I only call her that because she told me to, she said it was confusing when I called both of them Hinata. 

She opens up her arms to me too once she and Hinata are done hugging, I just pat her head. I'm not good with hugs. 

She pouts, Hinata starts talking to her again to save me from telling a five-year-old why I won't hug her. 

We all eat together when Hinata says he's hungry. I didn't realize how much I needed food until he said anything. 

So I sat there and listened to what they were talking about, just taking everything in. 

I'm not close with any of my siblings, one's only and a year older than me and the other's in college but I think they still think of me as weird because I'm adopted. 

Once we all finish eating we all go into the living room to watch a movie, Natsu in between me and Hinata.  
We're watching Tangled because it's Natsu favourite movie. I've watched a few times when I've helped Hinata babysit his sister.  
It's not bad, but it can get old after awhile. 

Natsu passes out half through the movie, Hinata just lets her sleep on him until the end of the movie. I carry her to her room Hinata said he was going to clean up the kitchen, I nodded and took her to her trying not to wake her up. 

Once Natsu is safely in her room, I go into the kitchen where Hinata's still cleaning. 

"She didn't wake up did she?" He asks from where he's wiping the counters.

I shake my head even though he can't see me, "No, she didn't she just mumbled cake under her breath," 

Hinata laughs a little, "That's happened the last few nights when I've put her to bed, I asked her the other morning what she had dreamed about she just shook her head telling me it's a secret." 

"I think both you and your sister need some help," 

"I'm not that bad!" he half yells quieting down once he remembers his sister's sleeping a few rooms away, "It's not my fault that I didn't know that fishes didn't have ears when it was one am," 

"You also slammed a door in her face six times," 

"Shush," He said dropping the cloth in the sink, he turns around and stares at me leaning against the sink. 

He stares a while longer, "What?" I ask confused as to why he's still looking at me. 

"Are you getting enough sleep?" He asks calmly it's a little creepy. 

I stare at him shocked, "I--I guess?" I said still confused and rushing my words. 

"Don't lie to me Kageyama, I can see the dark patches under your eyes, and you've been more out of it than normal, most of the time you're in your own little world, whatever. But now you hardly talk, fall asleep in weird places." He said still calmly, I can see the worry in his eyes. 

I don't know what to say so I don't say anything. 

"I've--I've just been busy," 

"I said don't lie, I don't lie to you. I know when my friends are not okay. I knew when my dad wasn't okay, now he's dead." 

"Don't bring your father into this, I'm not dying." 

"I'm stating something that happened. Look Kageyama I care about you, I want you to be safe and okay. That's what you do when you like someone okay!?" he said tailing off at the end that I almost don't catch it. 

I stare at him, "I--I--I," I stutter, I can't get anything out. 

He walks over to me standing in front of me, he smiles at me softly. 

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything back, it's also okay if you don't like me back, I already knew that anyway," He said breaking eye contact with me. 

I stand there a moment my mind racing along with my heart, I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. 

He's said it before, but it feels real this time. 

I put my arms around him awkwardly, I've seen people do this after someone confesses. 

I hide my face in his shoulder, I feel him slowly return the hug back. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. 

I shake my head no.

"Okay," 

"Can I ask you something again?" 

I nod my head yes. 

"Do you like me back?" 

I think about it a moment, I do like him. 

I nod my head yes again. "I think so," I mumble. 

He holds me tighter not saying anything else I hug back tighter as well. It's still a little awkward but it's nice. 

"You still need to talk to me about what's wrong, it doesn't even need to be me, just talk to someone, please," He said quietly into my chest. 

We hug awhile longer before, returning to the living room, I lay on the couch with him laying on top of me, I play with his hair a little. 

It's just as fluffy as I thought. 

"Can you tell me why you're not sleeping?" he asks with his eyes closed relaxing. 

I close my eyes as well, not wanting to see his face when I finally say it because it's stupid. 

"I have nightmares," 

I feel him shift on my chest, I open my eyes to see him leaning on his forearm so he can see my face. " About what?" 

I shake my head, "I don't know, I wake up and I don't remember anything all I know is that I'm scared and I sometimes have panic attacks. So I don't sleep," 

He nods his head, "Okay, well, what are you scared of?" 

"Ceiling fans," 

He looks at me for a second it turns into a glare, "I was thinking something more serious, and I already knew you didn't like ceiling fans." 

"I really hate ceiling fans," 

"I know," 

"What do you think could be waking you up at night because it's defiantly not ceiling fans, unless their giant demon ceiling fans," he says thoughtfully. 

I shake my head, "I don't know, maybe, being abandoned. When I was little I was really scared of that because people used to tease me for not looking like my family, and how I wasn't really their son," 

Hinata looks at me again with sadness in his eyes, "I think I would've liked it a lot more if it was just ceiling fans," he jokes but it still seems sad. 

He runs his fingers through my hair a moment staring into my eyes, "Your mom and dad love you a lot, I don't think they could get rid of you even if they were forced. They're trying their best to support you, I know that doesn't fix anything, and I know there's nothing I can do but support you the best I can," 

He rests his forehead against mine, I try and not freak out this is a little too much too soon. 

"There's probably even more to it, then what you told me but take your time." 

"Too much," 

he eyes widen, "I'm so sorry," he said putting his head back on my chest and removing his hand from my hair, he hides his face there, "I didn't mean to scare you, I know you don't like to be touched much," 

I shake my head, "it's okay," 

"It was just too much, don't feel bad," 

"Do you want me to get off of you?" 

"No, it's fine," 

He leans back again so he can look into my eyes, "You sure?" 

I nod, "It's okay, Hinata," 

"Okay, just let me now if it's too much too soon okay?" 

"I will, Hinata," I said patting his head awkwardly. 

We lay there awhile longer both of us lost in thought.  
I don't know what I should say to my parents, will they be mad? will they be sad? will they hate me? 

"Kags, I can hear you thinking," Hinata said snapping me out of my thoughts. 

I shake my head. 

"What were you thinking about?" 

"My parents they don't know," 

His eyes widen again, then they go back to normal, "You sure? You're pretty gay?" 

"No--no, at least I don't think so?" 

"Well, they know I'm gay," 

"Wha--what?" I stutter. 

"Haha! well, you see when I first met your parents I was really nervous, so the first time when I went over to do homework with you, and you were in your room." 

"And?" 

"And your parents opened the door and let me in, they asked my name and if I was a friend, like normal people. But me not being normal answered. 'Hi, I'm Hinata shouyou, I'm gay bye!' and ran to your room." He said making his voice higher to mock himself. 

I stare at him then start laughing really hard. 

"Shut up! Natsu sleeping and it's really not that funny," he yells at me, being even louder. 

I laugh harder if possible. 

Once my laughter dies down, I notice that Hinata's just staring at me. 

"Are you done?" He asks. 

I nod. 

Hinata stares at me a moment before wiping my eyes with his hands, I hadn't even noticed I had started crying. 

"I've never seen you laugh that hard before, it's cute," 

I feel myself blush. 

"And you blush with your ears that's even worse," he grumbles going back to hiding his face in my chest. 

"You're not any better when you blush, your nose turns red along with your cheeks," I said with confidence that dies right after I get it all out. 

Hinata unhides his face to look at me again, "Wow, that was gay," 

I hit him over the head playfully. 

"Rude," 

"Are you staying the night because it's kinda late now," Hinata said looking at the clock near the tv. 

"Oh fuck, I didn't tell my mom where I was going to be," I said putting running my hands through my hair.

"Where's your phone?" 

"Backpack," 

"I'll get it, don't fall asleep on my couch," he threatens, getting up and going to the mud room. 

I stare at the ceiling, I could've gone and got it.  
I feel horrible now, she's probably worrying. 

Hinata returns a moment later with my phone, I sit up and take it, he sits down beside me, leaning his head on my shoulder. 

I unlock my phone going to messages there are a few missed texts from my mom and dad and missed calls. 

To: Mothership. 

I'm so sorry, I'm at Hinata's house.  
Do you want me to come home?

From: The Babby. 

I send the message sighing. 

"You're the babby?" Hinata giggles from beside me. 

I blush, "Shut up, I'm the youngest I didn't think of the name." 

"But babies even misspelled," 

"I know, that's the point I think?" 

"HAH, you don't even know," 

My phone buzzes. 

From: Mothership. 

Oh my god, I was so worried. Text me next time you silly kid!  
Normally I'd say yes come home, but I don't want you walking home and we can't come get you. Is Hinata okay with you staying over if it's too much to ask, I'll figure something out! 

To: The Babby. 

"Already said you can stay over, so just tell her. I'll go set up somewhere for you to sleep," He said getting up and leaving the room. 

I nod. 

To: Mothership. 

He already said I could stay over before I texted, next time I'll message you. I promise. 

From: The Babby. 

I wait a few more minutes. 

From: Mothership. 

Okay, thank god. Tell him: thank you from us, and behave. 

I love you, and you better text next time mister. 

To: That Babby. 

To: Mothership. 

I will love you too. Goodnight. 

From: The Babby. 

 

I get up from the couch and going into Hinata's room to see him already laying on the floor on a bed made out of blankets and such, there's a place right next to him for me. 

I turn off the light then crawl in next to him. 

"Are you going to be okay tonight?" He asks already half asleep. 

I nod, "I should be alright, with you here," I reply quietly hoping he didn't hear the last part. 

He just smiles warmly, holding out his hand for me to hold. 

"By the way, we're dating now, I don't want to have Kenma bug me anymore," Hinata states flushing a bit. 

"Okay, I'm good with that." 

"We'll take it slow, your pace," he said fighting to keep his eyes open. He loses a few seconds after he's down talking.

I nod. 

"Thank you," I whisper to him. 

Closing my eyes and hoping for the best. 

It's not going to change overnight, but It will get better in time.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this is easy to read and understandable. 
> 
> I'm now going to go sleep for a week, even though I can't because fuck you, orthodontist.  
> But hopefully, by tomorrow I'll only need to wear my retainer at night!
> 
>  
> 
> Goodnight -TooAceForThisShit.


End file.
